I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
handjob tips. give me some.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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