New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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