oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
