I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
