I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
