At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
