Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
