4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
