I accidentally had phone sex last night
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
