o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
