how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
