you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
