she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
