Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
