this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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