At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
