people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
