I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
