Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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