This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
