is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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