Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
