My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize