all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
