Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
