BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
