I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Randomize
