How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
