What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
