so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
