i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
