when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
