Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
