no, he came in my armpit
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
