Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she told me i tasted like america
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
