My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
