Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
