weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
