I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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