who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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