I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
