Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
