After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
