But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You work out of a Hotel?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
