u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
