What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
as a side note pls kill me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
