I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
