Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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