i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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