I'm drive I can fine osifer
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
